This is Neil Tweedy (45) and his wife Helen (45).
Living in Manchester, United Kingdom,
In the eyes of outsiders, Neil is kind and courteous.
Wife Helen is a teacher at a local school in Manchester.
Four years ago, there was a lovely daughter, everything looked so beautiful..
Neil has endured more than 10 years of domestic violence… the perpetrator is the wife Helen
Helen’s domestic violence against Neil began on the wedding day…
In 2008, they held a wedding under the witness of their relatives and friends.
On the wedding night, Helen covered Neil’s head with a duvet, which made him almost breathless, then punched and kicked him, and forced Neil to sleep on the sofa.
At the time, Neil thought it might be that Helen was just “inadvertent” and played a bit too much.
He still went to honeymoon according to plan, even during the honeymoon period, Helen was still fighting him.
In the first three years after marriage, Neil found that Helen occasionally sneaked a drink, and his temper was not very good, and his control was strong.
Helen firmly controls the economic power of the family, and Neil will hand over his salary every month..
Once they had dinner with Helen’s parents, because of a little trifle, Helen suddenly fired, slammed Neil a few times, and slapped him a slap.
From that time on, the slap in the face seemed to be more and more frequent.
For so many years,
Neil has always endured silently, I hope that one day, she can change,
But after more than 10 years, his wife’s alcoholism has become more and more serious.
Four years ago, during Helen’s pregnancy, she temporarily stopped drinking, but when the child was born, she started again… Although they had lovely daughters, Helen’s domestic violence did not stop…
During these years, he tried to leave her, but in the end he returned to their home for various reasons.
Once, Helen hit him in front of the 4-year-old daughter, and the daughter cried in fear…
This made Neil’s heart defense completely collapsed, and her daughter’s cry made him decide not to endure..
He wants to go to the police, but he is afraid that the police will not believe him.
So he thought about it and decided to install a pinhole camera at home and record it all.
For more than two months after installing the camera, Helen not only cursed him from time to time, but also slapped his slap in the face.
When Neil showed the footage to the police,
They were completely shocked,
In just two months, Helen had three extremely serious episodes of violence.
Fear of further escalation of Helen’s domestic violence, and worried about the safety of Neil, the police decided to immediately investigate the case.
Finally, the judge ruled that Helen was convicted and gave her a 12-month restraining order, during which time she was not allowed to approach Neil.
Helen is a very good teacher. She is serious and responsible. She goes to school at 7:30 every morning and returns home at 7:30 in the evening… Although there are restrictions, I welcome her to see the children at any time.
“I think the main problem is that she is drinking alcohol. Last year, she was sent two first aid because of this problem. If the rescue is not timely, there will be danger to her life. I really hope she will stop drinking.”
“After this time, she may be able to change it..”
For male victims of domestic violence like Neil, there are actually quite a few.
According to a survey by Parity 2010, an organization that helps male victims of domestic violence, 40% of victims of domestic violence are male; in 2015/16, 28 men died of domestic violence.
For male victims, help is shy and the channels of aid are scarce.
Even they are afraid that once they say it, the media and the public will have an incredible and even ridiculous attitude.
Just like Neil, I am afraid that everyone will not believe it and can only secretly record it.
For male victims, speaking out of their own experiences and pains is the first step in getting protection…
Domestic violence does not have a gender distinction. It is imperative to use laws to protect victims so that they no longer endure violence.
And the long road is long, and more efforts are needed.