How does your child react after falling? Can reveal future pressure resistance

Basel Van dercock, the world-renowned psychopathic treatment master, once told the story of a little boy.

On September 11, 2001, in Manhattan, a 5-year-old boy, Nom, through a glass window in the classroom, witnessed a gray machine crashing into the building, noticing the toy machine! Yes, he witnessed the whole process of the disaster. He saw countless panic shadows jumping directly from the tall building windows. Later, he and his brother fled with other classmates and teachers, and met the father who had just sent them to school at the door. The father and the son rushed in the thick smoke and gravel, and finally returned home safely. The next day, Nome painted a painting with a tender brushstroke. There were countless people jumping out of the building. The only difference was that he drew a large mattress at the bottom and caught people!

Through positive action and imagination, the child walked out of the shadow of the soul. Just now, the young children said that they saw similar stories in other places.

A 6-year-old boy from the United Kingdom, Stanley, was beaten by a drunk chef in kindergarten. The chef started very heavy, not only knocking out the two front teeth of the child, but also interrupting the bridge of the nose. When the child was hospitalized that night, he drew a picture. In the painting, the child smells the wine on the chef and runs. The child drew a big “Watch Out” next to him to remind himself how to avoid it next time. Stanley’s mother said that after the child finished painting, he smiled and he felt much better.

This is actually the child’s “self-soothing” ability and has a positive psychological impact. I remembered the children of the recent red, yellow and blue events…

What is the “self-soothing” ability?

Emotional expert Thomas Anders It is pointed out that some babies have self-soothing ability for a few months, the most obvious of which is crying at night. But some children don’t even have it at the age of 3 or 4. Some children even become more and more “self-soothing” with age. The “self-soothing” ability is a sign of a child’s psychological maturity. It is decided whether a child will face unpleasant behavior with positive behavior and attitude, or face with a negative behavioral attitude. In short, The “self-soothing” ability is to find a positive psychological explanation for unpleasant things, and then to achieve “self-soothing” through positive behavior and language. Let the mind calm down, and finally face the process of life with a positive attitude.

A child fell, she climbed up, raised her hand and patted her chest, saying: “I am not afraid of not afraid, bravely stand up and go better next time.” This is the most typical example of “self-soothing”. Except if the child is injured after falling. Some children fall down, just like nothing to climb and continue to play happily, is also a good performance of “self-soothing” ability. Some children fell, and they were crying on the ground without injury. This is the lack of self-soothing ability.

What is the role of “self-soothing” ability?

As mentioned above, the “self-soothing” ability is actually a manifestation of psychological maturity and a resistance to stress. “Self-soothing” children with good ability, emotional self-control, easy to have a positive attitude, the happiness of life is also the highest. In the face of difficulties or setbacks, “self-soothing” children with good abilities will be accustomed to a positive attitude, rather than negative and self-pity. The hearts of these children are like a jar full of sunshine, and any unpleasantness and haze can be quickly drained away. First, these children have less bad temper than their peers. Second, their mentality is always optimistic. Third, there are more empathy.

In the kindergarten, a mischievous little boy was arranged by the teacher to sit in the corner. After school, my mother worried that the child was depressed, and then carefully asked how the child felt. The child laughed: “Mom, I feel great. I finally have a chance to see spiders and mosquitoes fighting, just as wonderful as the children’s book picture book!”

Can the child’s “self-soothing” ability be cultivated?

The child’s “self-soothing” ability, in addition to the natural factors, is greatly influenced by adults. The most important of these is the way parents comfort their children and comfort themselves. As the social psychologist Hatfield said, children observe their parents’ faces, postures and voices, and they naturally and unconsciously imitate the parents’ reactions every moment.

What is the relationship between a pair of parents who know “self-soothing”?

One night, the power was cut off. Because it was too sudden, the window screamed. I suddenly heard a mother shouting out the window: “Great baby! We finally have the opportunity to have a candlelight dinner, too excited…” Parents who know “self-soothing” correct themselves with “self-soothing” ability. Infected with children.

How do parents “settled” their children?

A little girl Sarah’s Barbie toy did not know why during the delivery process. The bow of the hair was broken, and the child was very sad when she opened it. Considering the trouble of returning, the child’s father said: “Sara, the bow of the Barbie toy is broken. It’s a good thing! Do you remember that you made a beautiful cloth rose last week? I can guarantee that if you wear Barbie, It must be very beautiful. Can we build a Sarah exclusive Barbie?” The little girl hesitated, but already eager to try. In the end, Barbie dressed in Sarah is really cute, even more cute than the original! The sadness just now has disappeared.

To put it bluntly, the “self-soothing” ability is to put a “stop-blood-stick” to the mind. Do you have it with your child?

Keywords of this article: self-soothing, stress-resistant ability, early childhood psychology, early education

The child said that a parent-child counselor specializes in the valuable parenting knowledge of foreign psychologists.