Introversion is a breeding ground for mental illness (5) – the more “active” the more painful

Previous Introversion is the breeding of mental illness (4) – too much attention to the self It is mentioned that too much attention to the self often leads us into a whirlpool of self-negative doubts. Some people feel that they are not necessarily there, and may have a positive expectation for themselves. It is possible, but it is not necessarily a good thing.

Student A is always optimistic and positive, and the results of a certain test are not ideal. She told herself that it doesn’t matter, I will definitely test it next time. As a result, the second test score is still similar to the first time. Xiao A looks a little discouraged, but she still has a very positive expectation for herself. She tells herself that it is okay, and I will work hard to improve my performance next time. The results came out not only did not improve, but also retired. This little A is no longer active, and I have become suspicious of myself. Why am I so active, so hard, but I can’t test it well? I feel troubled inside, and I have endless worry and anxiety about the next exam…

The consultation room did not know how many times such a story was staged. If the test fails, if it is a big stone pressed against the chest, then the obsession of “I will definitely test it next time” is like a hammer that smashes the stone to the chest. The college entrance examination is like, I want to expose a hand to break the big stone, I did not expect the result is a big stone broken chest.

Such a dialogue often occurs in the consultation room.

I asked: “What do you think about the decline in the test results?”

The students sneered in the heart, I have already seen your thoughts carefully, the psychological teacher, you let me go to a positive place to think about it. Then he replied: “I told myself, fortunately this time is not a college entrance examination.”

After that, the students also reflected that they felt that they were not so uncomfortable.

My heart is laughing, children’s shoes, you are really too young too naive.

I asked again: “If it is a college entrance examination?”

student:”……………………”

I “successfully” a student to advance the depths of the bottomless pain and anxiety. Because the students can’t believe this idea at all – “Fortunately, this is just a college entrance examination.”

A similar situation can be seen everywhere in life.

——The results are tested and told that I will definitely test the next time.

– When you encounter something unhappy, tell yourself that I will be happy.

——The wage earner has a successful study book every day, shouting that I will succeed.

– Parents and teachers always try to convince their children that I am the best.

Have you ever thought that you might get more scum next time? Are you likely to get more and more painful? You may not achieve anything? Also, you are definitely not the best.

“I will be better”, “I will be happy”, “I will succeed”, “I am the best” as if to tell myself “I am not good now”, “I am not happy now.” “I am not successful now”, “I can’t be bad.” On the surface, I have been affirming myself, but I have been saying “NO!” to myself.

Our “positive” has been repeatedly accusing ourselves of being “negative”, which is a false positive attitude. The true positive attitude is to say “yes” to your current personal feelings and experiences – “Of course I have goals and expectations, but I am willing to succumb to this.”

(To be continued)

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