I don’t know when I started, life has become powerless.
I can’t remember how long ago, everyone always said that I was an optimist, and my temper was good. A pair of crescent eyes seemed to be smiling forever. I also like that guy very much, but now I can’t seem to find myself.
It may be that when I was told that I was too tempered, I started to try to get angry. From then on, my temper was out of control; perhaps, after leaving the group of my favorite high school students, I gradually began to feel the unprecedented loneliness; It may be that the inexplicable and like boys parted ways and began to feel the ephemeral feeling of short-lived happiness.
I want to be optimistic about understanding my pessimistic and boring life as so-called growth, but now I am totally unrecognizable.
Happiness suddenly became a difficult thing for me. Objectively speaking, my current life is very comfortable, but I know that I am not doing well now. In the end, why is there a problem, I don’t know.
The label of “good character” that I have always been proud of is gradually being torn by myself. I can’t find my own position. When I am tolerant, I am said to have no self, and I have a temper and become difficult to get along with. It seems that how to do it will be pointed at by others, how to do it is wrong, so I am lost when I seek balance.
I used to be famous, but now I am not very willing to communicate with people around me. feeling very tired. So it became a little lonely person in the eyes of others, but I know that I am not like this.
I am just slow. It’s hard for me to get used to it, not close to it, only the water will gradually become familiar and become close. But the university doesn’t seem to have so much time to look up and see. It is good only if you perform well in the few remaining meetings, you can have friends, you can have a relationship. But I am not such a person at all, so I am not a rare friend who nods.
But I don’t pay attention to other people’s opinions. I hope others like me. I hope to make a lot of friends, but now this lifestyle is not a model for me to make good friends. So I began to feel that I failed.
Although I don’t want to admit it, I am afraid to speak in front of many people, even if I can bear to put on a very calm look every time. I don’t like to chat with strangers. I am not a friend who will make friends, but I am really a very sincere friend.
It is a pity that the only roommates who may become good friends with my personality are not all the way to me, or even an important factor that causes my personality to become deformed. Because of them, I have become a person I hate very much. I talk about others commenting on others. I hate such people, but I have become such a person.
Also, I like him in college, and it’s clear that the achievements of the waters are together, but they are inexplicable. Since then, I seem to have a hard time getting happy again. It seems that when I get along with him, I have exhausted all my happiness, and then I may never be so happy again.
Later, he met another one, and both sides had a good impression. However, they were both passive and tacit. When they looked at a favorite person, they would not make progress. The loss of the day began to overlap.
Now, I don’t know myself. Who am I, I am still me. Almost all the elders in my family are constantly disappointed with me, and I am not satisfied with how to do it. There are also bad things that they often can’t hide, and I really don’t know what to do.
The only consolation is that I still have a few good friends who can reveal my heart. I really thank them even if they face me now, they are still as good as me.
I don’t know how the future will make my life brighter again, but I believe I will wait until that day. I only hope that before that day, I will not be swallowed up by the darkness of the present. I will not completely fall into the swamp of my heart, I hope that I can survive and find myself, not lost forever.